She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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