Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
