I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
did i just pee glitter
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
