a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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