Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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