Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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