North Korea, Best Korea!
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
