Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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