I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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