Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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