Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
