i don't like sucking hair
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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