my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
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Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I love you. Go after that dick
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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