need another drink. this is the easiest way
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
