How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize