Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
