Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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