Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
