I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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