Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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