His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
