exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
