Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
