my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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