My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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