I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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