Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
