just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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