Small penises have feelings too.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
