R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
