I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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