Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
