my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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