i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
either way he was missing a nipple.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
