Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Randomize
