Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
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