we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize