need another drink. this is the easiest way
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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