i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
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He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
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Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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