First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
