It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize