I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
