I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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