A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
