i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
