Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
