I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
