The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
A+ Viking dick
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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