3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
