ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
