so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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