The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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