dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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