I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
