butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
