OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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