trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Randomize
