i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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