Don't you send me to vm
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
