you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
