u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It's shark week go big or go home
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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