is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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